The Gym

I’ve done it; I’ve successfully let myself out from the cage of sadness: happy to say I haven’t felt sadness or had an emotional breakdown in five months.

Instead of writing a layered analysis in the form of an essay, I’m putting the facts as I see them and adding my own thoughts to them. Because sometimes even I don’t need to objectify reality. But I’ve started to go to the gym, not for the first time in my life. I tricked myself into going by purchasing a pre-paid twelve-month subscription card that I really would like to use to it’s fullest.

I’ve been visiting the gym for a month now; but not the one that’s somewhat near my house, I instead have to wake an additional hour earlier in order to go to the city and visit the gym at the nearest mall there. I may be spoiled, but I also am easily annoyed and prefer the comfort of minding my own business, especially when others do too. Unfortunately, this is where small town mentality has brought me. But I do believe that it’s all worth it – travelling, whether it’s hours on a plane or just a minute-long commuting, is equivalent to an entire week worth of therapy to me. I feel energized enough to go through the day without feeling the need to go home and instead, I want to spend more time out.

I’ve managed to realize that I’m certainly the last person to go to the gym to deal with unstable mentality, and I’m also not the horniest. I see these chiseled bodies, ripped with lines and veins; wet t-shirts that stick to and underline all the muscles; sweaty faces, absolutely rugged from lifting heavy, and then I realize – that’s all there is to these people: blank stares, no souls. It’s all they live for, because it’s the shapes that make them interesting enough for someone to want to speak to them. I don’t, so I avoid all eye-contact. Then there are the loud ones: fixing brain damage with decibels, only to ruin the one thing they have left: being tolerable. Truthfully, I believe I have too many other characteristics to be exercising in the gym for clout.

These people are so simple; they don’t have interests, they don’t have hobbies, no characteristics or speech properties: empty vessels, that think tuning is the best, fastest and easiest way to gain a certain aspect of a personality. The gym is full of exercising people, but nobody wants to sport the brain. They can’t take a joke, let alone make one, so how are these same people supposed to be functioning outside the entrance of this place, I wonder. I truly pray that I may never know the answer to that, but still when it comes to the soul, nobody knows what to do.

What has also come to my attention is that I am the only person to wear a mask in the gym. I am a slim and tall boy with a slight asthma, but wearing a mask doesn’t bother me or trouble my breathing (in the GYM!) If I can wear a mask, why can’t others? Thank goodness they clean this place every couple of minutes.

But really, eras and centuries of religion and we still neglect the mind and soul? I really shouldn’t be judgmental here, but we fully let others, like personal trainers and surgeons, shape our bodies, but a simple single visit to a psychologist is still a massive taboo? I have to confess, I may be part of it, but I’ve also managed to overcome my struggles on my own. But I had to pay a price too high, compared to money, that could be spent for therapy.