Comfort zoning

Social comfort is in it’s own form the final frontier for introverts or people who suffer from major social anxiety issues. In that case, character starts where mentality ends. But there’s more to this person than just thoughts or expressions.

But where do you draw the line? More importantly, where do you cross it? I’m not the one to say when it’s time to open up and be the social character – everyone has their own timing. But personally, I’ve never felt socially awkward – this feeling has turned me into a complete sociopath, to the point where I’m not the introvert – just wish everybody else was. Here’s the deal: I’m currently finding new information for when to shut up and when to speak. And that brings me to square A – my comfort zone spreads as far as to being completely silent and to not protest it; speaking is an issue even around people I trust.

Starting off simply, I’ve only just found out that I can cross the line and exit my comfort zone. This new aspect of my life came with changing my surroundings after being admitted into Film Academy after five long years in High School for Classical Studies (not to be critical, but this should reveal enough as to why I prefer not to speak to people.) Getting into this exotic way of life, it used to give me an addictive amount of adrenalin every time I spoke with strangers, but there’s only a few situations that I could end up in, with my rate of going-out-ness and speaking-to-stranger-ness (close to, but not zero.)

Here’s a moderately universal example: I currently am having a massive crush on the new young doctor at my trichology clinic; how do I approach? I don’t have the social experience of speaking, let alone flirting, not to the point where I’m comfortable with any outcome. Truly, it isn’t wrong to be disappointed, but it’s better that whatever the situation leads to, doesn’t end me up in despair. For that reason, there are two options: a – I don’t act at all; or b – play my cards. In my book there’s no rules; I’m doing both, meaning, I’ll wait for an appropriate moment to act. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll wait forever: forcing events to happen before their timing usually brings the despair I’m not looking for. My job for the moment is the observant and look for answers – engage in conversations, notice the way I’m treated by them, then eventually, drop the bomb: ‘By the way, do you use Instagram?’

What I’m looking for right now is to find a way to exit my comfort zone gracefully and in such a manner, that I build it into a new reflex of mine. I have this problem where someone would flirt with me, but I’d brush it off, only to come back months or years later and feel how stupid I am for staying in my comfort zone. As much as it helps me remain calm and sane, it still is the stick I put into my own wheels. After all, I’m not really a plant, and spreading my leaves into the realm of the unknown most probably won’t kill me, at least if we’re speaking metaphorically.

In conclusion: fuck off! I know best what’s worst for me, and for a fact I know that it’s staying where I am right now. And I’m going to move, for my own sake! Being the quiet fish in the land of giant, loud and annoying songbirds is going to kill me way faster than shame and embarrassment. I’ll drop my act and will give my best to shine my ability to speak with people I don’t know the secrets of. So wish me luck with this new endeavor of mine!