Long time no see

As I’m blowing the dust off this website, I’m sitting in front of my scarred laptop wondering: was I wrong all along?

This year I let life take me wherever, instead of holding all of the control myself, and I have to admit, I went on a pretty ambitious journey into the basics of adulthood. My most important task was to open myself to new encounters and find a way to socialize my otherwise closed life. I imagined I’d be going from club to club, but what happened was, in fact, better. I started going out with the people who were already my close friends online, turned out – we just didn’t have much time to meet. We’d been texting all the time, which lowered the demand for face-to-face meetings. But I also embraced getting close with people who I consider friends, but am not as close to. Turns out I’m very talkative and they always count on me to keep the conversation going (a shocker for the readers of this, I’d imagine.)

Compared to myself pre-2018, I was on an even higher lever when it comes to socializing. When it comes to anything, actually. But recently I spent a day alone in a different city, in a different country.

I never let my statistics on dating apps control my behavior or mood. But I was noticing that home I’m getting far less attention, than when I’m visiting. For context, I went to Bari in Italy, and since I speak Italian, I changed my dating app bio to Italian, so that I’m not such an obvious tourist, but fool others into thinking I’m local, or visiting as an Italian (it worked, since all the messages I got were in Italian.) Note: Every European should visit Bari: a cheap, youthful, warm seaside city with countless opportunities.

Even if I didn’t end up meeting anyone there, it felt very nice to receive this much attention from strangers online. It also led me to the following conclusion: I live in an extremely boring region, where people would rather screw the eyes out of a six-pack, alpha male with nice thin nose and thick dark hair, instead of meeting a charismatic, funny, intelligent but still good looking young man, such as humble me. Makes me want to get out of the Silicone Valley even more!

I’m closing this year, that was interesting enough, that I didn’t really have time to write anything here, so I call that a win! What I strive for next year is to start writing a little more schematic and understandable, because all I’ve been doing so far is trauma-littering without context. Next year: context, memories, how-to’s, and hopefully – I get to release some music, finally. Cheers!