Better late than never

After a brief period of indecisiveness, it’s time to take my life into my own hands. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had to make the most important decision of my life – what exactly do I want to do.

At 24 I still feel like a child. I remember my sister used to stress over how old she’s getting when she was 24 and I thought, but that’s not old at all! To this day I still can’t decide who’s more wrong than the other. All I know is that I skipped almost everything between 16 and 24. Now I have to try and fill the gap between the age I feel I am, and the age I really am.

Despite being significantly ahead of my peers, I’m feeling younger than ever, but it seems more like I’m behind on life. I still have so much to learn. In my desperate attempts to run away from the social difficulties my differences caused, I had to grow up fast and dedicate myself to my ambition. But now I finally show the emotional maturity I seek from others.

All this time I thought my colleagues or class mates were the villains; that they were way too immature. Turns out I’m abnormal. They aren’t immature, they are just normal twenty-something year-olds. The other day I was on set with many people my age and they were talking about starting families and raising children. I couldn’t help but judge them for wanting to do it so early in their lives. But am I wrong – shouldn’t I be thinking the same way?

I may be just now growing up, thinking I had already gone through that. I should cut myself some slack and not be too hard. It’s time to slow down and take a deep breath.