Are we peer-pressured into not changing?

Whenever I’m engaging in a conversation, an argument, a friendly banter or even a business chat, I’m always expected to be right where I first met whoever I’m speaking to. It doesn’t matter how much I advance or learn, others will always demand that I stay the same.

Even when I was quitting the Organization, I was told “But you said…” – a sentence, which seemed to bring my hard work to no significance. Am I not allowed to move on, to change or at least seek an alternative?

I’ve seen people change for worse or better. They don’t owe me consistency. A recent example is my close friend Elli, who I first met when we were fourteen. Then, it seemed that having fun was everything for her. She went on to pursue her education and career goals, met somebody and is now settling down; nothing is as it used to be. We barely see each other now and I couldn’t be happier for her, because she grew to the point that I just can’t believe she’s the same person I met when we were fourteen.

On the other hand, I couldn’t fit in a single post all the examples of people, who had cemented themselves at sixteen throughout the time I’ve known them. It feels wrong to expect maturity of them, as they stir drama, intrigues, confusion, spread lies and rumours. When I went to study in the Film Academy, I became “friends” with this boy, because we had many interests in common. That friendship didn’t last long and while it did, he couldn’t stop shaming me for my interests, which he shared, and spoke ill of me behind my back, which made him shine more to our colleagues than I did. Frankly, after we parted ways I wasn’t as hurt as I was happy to be able to focus on my studies, since during my admission interview I said “I’m here to study and not to make friends.”

I prefer to believe that I haven’t stopped evolving and will continue to do so, for as long as I need to. I don’t really take into consideration what is expected of me, because my own expectations matter the most.